1

god just called. i find him so vague at times and he leaves me hanging. he sounded in good spirits though. yesterday, i had kind of said i would meet him in town today. we didn't say when exactly which allows me to still be here, in my house.
so i said to god, "why don't you come over here?" and suggested, "we could hang out or go on an adventure somewhere."
and there was some silence on the other end. it was a weird silence the way only god can leave them.
finally, i said, "it's your turn to talk now."
and god laughed a little and he said he wanted to wander around a bit. maybe get a drink and that then he needed to do some administration. i always wonder what he means by this. this administration of his is some secret activity which weighs heavy on him like an unpleasant task. it is often an excuse for him to not do something. like he's too busy with other things.
i said, "if you come over here i could cook a little something later." we often eat together. god enjoys eating very much and it might be a surprise that he is not a vegetarian. he could not say one way or another whether he could indulge me. i was pretty flexible but did say that i couldn't have a drink right now because i wasn't showered yet.
"i still have to bathe," i said.
"that's ok," he said. "i can have a drink on my own."
although he tried to say this in an uplifting manner, i couldn't help but feel this sounded a bit sad. i hope god isn't becoming too isolated from the rest of us. as he sometimes does. i know that he can get into his contemplative moods where he sees nothing but the issues of the soul for hours, even days. i hope he is not angry or disappointed for not having a drink with him. he obviously felt like my company and i guess god gets lonely too at times. even when he enjoys his own company more than any other's.
but i told him instead that i was here writing a bit and planning to work on my shoulder which was aching. and that if he wanted, he could come over and perhaps we could chat, or eat something. or maybe go for a walk. i enjoy watching the sunset with god. he seems to understand these things and how they should be watched. but in honesty, i think that i want more than anything, to stay here by myself today. another friend called earlier and i was clear in my intention not to see her today. tomorrow maybe but not today. so i said this in quite clear, but friendly, terms. she understands this completely and does not feel offended. with god this is different. even when i am certain i want to stay alone the whole day, one phone call from him changes that mood and i want nothing more than to see him. i feel almost responsible. like i might offend him if i don't see him when he wants. those moments seem so rare. i feel i need to be available.
so that's why i told god to think it all over, have his drink, do his administration, and then give me a call. perhaps he would feel clearer then whether or not we should hang out today.

2

god called later in the afternoon.
he said, "hello, it's god."
i answered, "i know, i could see it on the caller identification of the phone."
he was quiet for a while as if he had never heard of such a technology or just never used it himself.
"so, what's up?" i ask. i wonder why he has called. i think maybe he has decided to hang out and invite him to tell me about this in a roundabout way.
"you told me to call you back in the afternoon. so that's what i am doing."
right. i feel the ball is again firmly in my court. i need to find something to say and decide to invite him for dinner again. he declines.
"i was thinking to go and see a movie."
i'm not really in the mood for a movie but when god says he wants to see a movie, it is hard to decline. however, at that moment, i wasn't technically invited.
"would you like me to come?"
"if you want."
"well, sure. but it would be nice for you to ask me."
"i wouldn't want to force you to come unless you wanted to."
"i don't see it like that," i told god, "i feel it would be more like an invitation."
"ok. would you like to come?"
"sure." i realize that actually i don't really feel like going out and feel a little forced. but hanging with god is always interesting. depending on his mood. "what time shall we meet?"
"7:30 at the metropole."
"see you then." i wonder what movie we will see. god never lets me choose. every time i make a suggestion he wrinkles his nose in disapproval. at least we won't see the last temptation of christ. he saw it already and found it a violent piece of religious propaganda. you've got to laugh sometimes with god.

3

god called today when i was in the middle of a reiki type of meditation. i had turned the ring on loud earlier to be sure i would hear it while doing the dishes and then forgot to turn it down when i went to lay down. so the ring tone scared me out of my wits. i saw it was god on the identifier.
"hello." said god.
"hey! what's up."
"sorry?"
"what are you up to?"
"oh, nothing much."
there was that silence typical of god. i said a few things to break it. i asked some questions. god was sounding a bit down. finally he got to the point.
"i have some news," he said in a most grave voice. i felt i could hear a tremor in it.
"oh."
"yeah, ivana has left. she came to see me the other day but missed me. i had just left and she spoke to someone else. it's only by talking to this other person that i realize she is gone."
"for good?" i ask.
"yeah, she's gone back to switzerland."
i am at a loss for words. it is a strange situation. ivana had been very intimate with god not too long ago. then suddenly, the relationship became too intense for her and she decided not to continue her relationship with god. she found solace in her brother who was her twin. after that, she had come to god a few times but there was always a weird energy there. something wasn't quite right. and now she was gone. god had said that maybe he should speak to her sometime and clear up the issues. but now she was gone. god should have acted sooner.
"so, would you like to come over for dinner still?" i had invited god to come the day before.
"sure. what are you making?"
"don't know yet but maybe we can shop together and get something good."
"alright. i'll be there in a little while."
"see you then. ciao."

4

i called god today because the weather was so great and the sun was shining through the windows and i had uplifting dreams. i like to share these moments with god an so i called to see if he was feeling the wonderful vibes too. and perhaps we could meet later.
he answered in good spirits. but then he said that he had a rough night. his thoughts were haunting him and he could not get a decent night's rest.
"i'm sorry to hear that," i said truly concerned. i am always sad when god is sad.
but he said, "that's alright. this is the way it is meant to be."
there is no arguing with god's wisdom but i still said that it was normal for me to feel concerned. that this is because i cared about him. he said that this was alright.
i told him about my dream and we were laughing a little about what it all meant. i said we were sitting around the table eating breakfast and there was a girl there we used to know. and then her boyfriend, who was a boy we knew called. and she had cream on her arms and shoulders and there was a lot of laughter. the feeling in the dream was good. we laughed about that and tried to figure it out.
i told him i had a ticket for a dance performance that evening but just the one so i couldn't invite him.
"oh," he said.

i think he would have liked to go. and i would have enjoyed his company. but i only had one ticket.
"perhaps i can arrange two tickets for another night," i offered, thinking i would probably enjoy the show again on another night but then with god's company.
"alright." he said.
i asked if he felt like meeting in town.
"maybe later," he said. god can be indecisive. he likes to take things as they come and make his decisions at the last possible moment. especially concerning little things like having a coffee or going for a walk. it is sometimes hard to plan your day around god. so i'll have to see if he has time or energy to meet in town later. we ended in good spirits though and i wished him good energy for the rest of the day and less troubled thoughts. then we hung up and i prepared myself for the sunny day ahead of me.

5

i was sitting outside with a friend of mine with the sun shining on our faces when i realized that i had to call god before he left for the weekend. he was going to belgium.
i could hear the sounds of the train station in the background when he answered. a woman's voice was announcing a train arriving or leaving or was warning for pickpockets. i couldn't really make it out. but this is how i knew god was getting ready for his trip.
"hello." he was in good spirits.
"hey. are you getting ready to leave?" i found it a nice coincidence that i called him right before he got on the train. it feels like there is a special connection between me and god. like a telepathic bond. once i met god in the bookstore where i was on a whim and it turned out he was there on whim too.
he answered that he wasn't leaving for another twenty minutes which he found funny. and we chuckled. god has a way of getting to the station or an appointment in his own time. he doesn't adhere to schedules knowing that there is always something to experience beside the goal you have intended to reach. god is ready for anything. he has no expectations and so seemed perfectly alright to be at the station twenty minutes early. i failed to ask how long he had been at the station before i called.
"so, are you planning to do anything special while you are in belgium?" i knew god had had a rough week and needed a break.
"no. i just plan to chill out."
"that's great," i said. i didn't really have much to say.
the friend who was sitting next to me, who is also acquainted with god, said for me to say hello to him.
"hello from clara," i said.
"oh, hello back."
then i thought it might be nice for her to speak to him personally and i passed the phone to her.
"hello god," she said. "so you're on your way to belgium?"
i didn't hear what god answered but i imagine it was in the affirmative. the two of them talked for a while and clara invited god for pancakes next week.
"do you know how to make pancakes?" she asked him.
again, i don't know what he answered.
after a wile she returned the phone to me and i said bye to god and hung up. by now he should be on his way and i will have to do without god for the weekend.

6

i knew god would call today when i saw the crows flying around the courtyard. god says that crows are his bird. he identifies with them and when i see them it has to do with an omen. not so long ago, i saw a dead crow lying by the side of the road just after i saw a street light go out. i knew that would be a bad omen and surely the next day god called from the hospital. but these crows were playful and having fun so i felt that my phone call with god, whenever it came that day would be fine.
it was already in the evening when he called at last. he had just arrived back from his weekend in belgium.
"i just arrived back thirty minutes ago," god said. i was honored that he called me so soon after coming back.
"how was it? did you enjoy chilling out?"
"it was fine."
"what are you doing?"
"i am cooking eggs which i brought from belgium."
god has family in belgium and the have chickens which lay eggs and every time he goes he comes back with some eggs. i have never tried them myself but i believe they are very tasty. i think god might have been inviting me to come over later in his roundabout way but i was already planning dinner with someone else so i did not press for an invitation. what are you doing this evening. ok, maybe i was pressing a little. i could always do something after the dinner if the time permitted.
"i'm just going to let the evening unfold."
it was a good reply. it gave me freedom without the feeling of shunning god and i moved on in the conversation asking him what he was doing tomorrow.
"i'm going to see an opera in amsterdam," i said. "do you want to come along?"
"no, i feel i need to be in the hague for a while, there are some things i need to do." he replied.
"perhaps we can do something after i get back."
"yeah, maybe."
i could hear the eggs sizzling in the background. it sounded appetizing. i was going to a chinese restaurant. this too sounded appetizing.
i told god that i had to go because someone was waiting for me. i thanked him for calling and said it was nice to hear from him.
"i'm glad you're back."
"thank you and you're welcome." he said.
i was about to say that i would speak to him tomorrow but god had already hung up. i think his eggs were ready.

7

i was in amsterdam attending an opera. during the second break i called god. i had hoped to see god later in the evening but the opera was taking a long time. it was wagnerian and wouldn't end till after eight. it had started at one.
god answered the phone before a complete ring.
"that was fast." i said.
"i have the phone right beside me." god said.
"did the ring startle you?" i ask.
"no."
god was reading a book. it was about a native american indian with special powers and a close relationship with nature and the spirit world. god had been reading all the books in the last few weeks and this one he had ordered especially. i think the stories inspired god a great deal.
"are you reading outside?" i asked. it was a beautiful sunny day and i know he likes to be outside.
"yes." he said.
it told him about the opera. he didn't seem to care. wagner's germanic gods and incestuous relationships didn't seem to interest him too much. i almost got hit by a crazy tourist on a bike. then i remembered why i called.
"i don't think i'm going to be home till late tonight so maybe we have to meet tomorrow."
"oh. ok."
i detected a little bit of disappointment. i was disappointed too because i had not seen god since before the weekend the day before he went to belgium.
"shall i give you a call tomorrow? i have to work tomorrow evening so we could meet sometime in the afternoon."
"ok."
i was with a friend who likes to call himself elvis and clara. god knows them so i asked if he wanted to send greetings to them.
"alright." he answered.
the two of them waved and i passed on the hellos.
then i said i was going to hang up. god said goodbye and i made my way back to the opera with my two friends.

8

i called god soon after i woke up. i had a bit of a neck injury from two days before and decided to take it easy that day so it was already past noon when i called. my neck was sore. i could hardly look left and any sudden turn would shoot pain through to my shoulder. i was hoping that god could maybe do something about it. and besides, i had not seen him for a while and i thought we could see each other before i went to work that evening.
when god answered the phone i could hear a cacophony of noise.
"hello."
"hello, i am in the tram." said god.
"how's it going?"
"not so good. i am going to see the doctor."
i was shocked. god had never seen a doctor except to remove stitches from his forehead one time. in general, god felt that he could cure himself of anything. besides, he was never ill.
"what's wrong?"
"i feel faint. i didn't sleep very well but when i got up i was feeling very strange. like i was going to pass out."
"ok."
"yeah, i'm here on the tram and i feel like i might pass out right here."
this startled me. god is never ill. when he described that he is feeling faint and going to the doctor, i become concerned.
"did you call the doctor?"
"no, i don't have his number. but he should be open." god said. this confirmed how little he knew about the medical profession in today's world. i didn't say anything about the state of medical care and hoped he was right. god would figure something out.
"shall i meet you after you see the doctor?" i though that maybe god's symptoms were psychosomatic or stress related and all he needed was for someone to be there. perhaps just some company would suffice. in any case, if the doctor wasn't in, i wouldn't want him to be by himself with all his stress and concern.
"yeah, we could do that."
"so call me then when you are through at the doctors."
"alright."
"take it easy. ok god?"
"yeah, thanks."
"so, you'll call me later."
"yes."
i hung up and as i put the phone down, pain shot through my neck and shoulder.

9

god had still not called after i spoke to him about him feeling faint. i was getting increasingly concerned. i didn't want god to be lying on the street somewhere and decide to call him.
"i just go out of the doctor's office. but he wasn't there. he is on holiday."
"oh."
"yeah so i have an appointment with another doctor at 8:30 in the morning tomorrow."
"ok. how do you feel?"
"a bit funny. i feel like i should be in bed."
"ok. well, go home and get in to bed. i will come by on my way to work later. is that alright?"
"yeah. can you bring some orange juice?"

10

god called a few minutes after i had spoken to him.
"hey, i need to ask you to one more thing for me."
"sure, what do you need?"
"i was supposed to meet horst this week but i don't have his phone number so maybe you can call him and tell him i'm not feeling well."
"i don't have his number either." i told him.
"oh, ok."
i told him it should be fine and that i was sure horst would understand. and then i told him i would come by after my sister had left. my sister and i were having tea.
"alright."
and then i hung up and joined my sister.

11

i woke up early this morning. my neck ached and i called work to tell them i wasn't going to come in that evening. then, realizing god must have just finished his doctor's appointment, i called him.
"how are you feeling?"
"yeah, better."
"what did the doctor say?"
"it's some kind of viral infection or something. i need to rest. it's nothing to worry about."
"oh, good."
i was thinking of going to my summer cottage that weekend and had invited god to come along with me. he thought that might be a nice idea. but now i was thinking of maybe going today already. and it was only thursday. i said this to god and wondered if he would still like to come. but before he could reply for certain i told him that he should think about it later.
"i'm pretty tired," i said. "i think i will go back to sleep for a bit." do you want to give me a call later?"
"yeah, alright."
we said bye and i went back to sleep for a bit wondering if god was going to come with me to the cottage or not. i wasn't sure if i wanted to go without his company. as i dozed, i decided i would not leave today. i felt too tired and my neck hurt. and i could feel that god wouldn't come with me today.

12

my sister had come over and we smoked a joint even though we had said we wouldn't do this anymore just over a week before. but i was feeling lazy and i thought it might work on my neck. although that was just an excuse not to feel guilty about smoking a joint. when the joint was finished, god called. he sounded down, a little sad. i tried to sound cheerful but not too stoned. i didn't want god to know i was smoking weed, i was a bit ashamed and felt he wouldn't really approve.
"i don't think i will come with you to the cottage today." said god.
"alright." i didn't feel too much about this because i had decided not to go today. still, i felt my hopes dashed at god joining me in the cottage at all. i made some small talk in an attempt to hide that i was stoned. although i feel i was sounding sober enough, i felt the conversation was diminishing. then i told god a story of something i had seen a little while earlier. something my sister had witnessed too. something which had bothered me and seemed like some strange omen.
through the window of my house i could see an old crow, sickly and with gray feathers hop between the parked cars in the street. it was pecking at the dog shit left there by my neighbors and their dogs. it then disappeared behind a blue car and hoped to the other side of it. here there was another pile of dog poo and it continued to peck desperately at it. crows are god's bird and to see an old battered one eating shit was a disturbing sight.
as i am telling the story, my sister begins to laugh. she too was a bit stoned and the story must have sounded funny to her as i told god about a shit eating crow. she didn't understand the omen of it all. i started to tell the story as if it was a joke because i was beginning to laugh. but also because i could hear that god sounded genuinely concerned and i wanted to make it less serious sounding. i regretted that i had brought the subject into the conversation and i felt a fool.
i tried to bring the whole thing to a good conclusion but did this awkwardly. in the end, i felt strangely sad when i hung up. in fact, my whole mood had changed and my sister noticed this.
"are you upset about your telephone call with god?" she asked.
i tried to hide my concern and blamed the whole thing on my neck. it had started to ache intensely after the telephone call and i was suddenly feeling tired. my sister asked a couple more times whether i was ok. i lied that i was fine but she could tell i was not. in the end she left for my sake and i was alone. i felt much better being alone but the phone call nagged and nagged and nagged.

13

i had to bring a key to the theater where i work. i wasn't going today on account of my neck but they needed the key and so i brought it. i was feeling funny after the conversation i had with god earlier in the afternoon. it was nagging me all the way to town and back again. when i returned home i finally called him. i had thought about calling him while i was on the bike. i felt a need to see if everything was alright after the strange things i had said earlier. i wanted to make sure i had not upset him. i had spoken to him in a strange state of mind and the bike ride had not made me feel more secure, though it had made me feel more relaxed.
"hey god, i just wanted to talk to you after that weird call this afternoon. i have been having a weird day. when i was biking home, i saw a dead bird turn into a piece of wood. then, when i left the supermarket, i heard someone call my name and turned to look at two woman talking. i did not know who they were but i'm sure they called out my name and they looked at me wondering why i turned to stare at them."
"i have been hearing my name being called out all the time. i keep hearing 'god' while i am walking in the street." god was very understanding.
i told god that i had felt faint while i was biking into town wondering if it was the same thing which had happened to him the day before. i felt god wanted to see me this evening but i felt strongly that i needed to be alone.
"my neck is hurting too much and i feel i need to rest it for a while." i told him. "but maybe we can go see the movie about the sun we wanted to see. it's at noon tomorrow at the imax theater."
god seemed to feel more cheerful after all that talk and he liked the idea of going to see the sun. i was glad that my imagined concern from the earlier telephone call had been cleared.
"i will call you tomorrow." i said to him.
"ok, goodbye."

14

"good morning."
"good morning." god replied
"is the sun calling us?"
"yes, the sun is calling us."
"i'll see you at a quarter to twelve at the sun?"
"yes, ok."
"ciao."
"see you."

15

god called but i didn't hear the phone.
i heard the message he left a little later.
it was nothing but a high pitch "oh."
it made me smile.

16

i returned god's call which i had missed.
he had only left a high pitched "oh" on the voicemail which was funny and meant he was in high spirits. the conversation was pretty crazy.
"ah"
"hello"
"we're about to leave,"
"who's we?"
"we"
"oh."
"that's the direction."
"of the yellow?"
"and the red."
"it's going straight?" i hit the keys of my new typewriter to make it sound like i was typing and god laughed.
"i'm finding some fluidity."
"ahhh."
"yeah, i've changed my place into a laboratory of fluid sounds and i am improvising in order to make a new breakthrough."
"great."
"yeah. i really feel on the verge of a breakthrough."
this is only a selection of the things we spoke about. it is pretty hard to follow some of the things god said and at the time i just went with the flow of his excitement. sometimes our discussion can be pretty intense and full of nonsense. but good nonsense, the creative kind. i am glad god is finding a new breakthrough. he is a talented individual. though that has never been a secret to me.